September 9, 2009

• In 1973 I was in the first grade. As all first graders do, I had a best friend and second best friend. The best friend was always the first choice. The second best was the one who you enjoyed and played with when the first best was too busy for you. Kathy was my second best friend. I remember the exact spot in the parking lot where we played. I only knew Kathy a year before I moved away but I remembered her for 7 more and never forgot that she was my second best friend. On our first day of high school, September 9, 1981 I found Kathy again. She had no idea who I was and when I told her how I remembered her from years before she thought (quite accurately mind you) that I was nuts…. Despite her faltered memory, she eventually moved into the best friend spot. It’s now 28 years later and I can proudly say that Kathy has remained my best friend.

   

  Anyone who knows Kathy, either through family, friends, work or even in her CaringBridge site knows that Kathy’s life has been devoted to holding strong, being faithful, honoring others and holding true to her integrity. Even in death, Kathy has sacrificed to make sure we are all ok. Sometimes I considered this a fault and I spent countless hours telling Kathy that she needed to be selfish and make decisions for herself. Now though, I look back and I realize that this was not a fault… this IS Kathy. If Kathy didn’t sacrifice then she wasn’t Kathy.

   

  There are many words to describe Kathy…

   

  Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend. Empathetic, compassionate, devoted and strong. Kathy is diligent, passive, emotional, determined, and encouraging. She is full of empathy, honesty, adventure, and of course, she’s blonde! I will remember Kathy always for her diligence, passion, laughter and her gracious heart.  

   

  My favorite word to describe Kathy: candle.

   

  Kathy was obsessed with candles. Any trip to the store involved the candle aisle. Big ones, skinny ones, baby ones, free ones; clearance, smelly, purple, citronella… it didn’t matter. Kathy loved them. Through the years, I have observed Kathy and her desires, growths, dreams, and obsessions. Lighting a candle was the most consistent and symbolic.  

   

  In Chris Rice’s song, Go Light Your World he sings “There is a candle in every soul, some brightly burning, some dark and cold.” Many of us ignore the candle that is inside us. We think we’re content in our worlds but when reality strikes and the pressure thickens we suddenly are begging for someone to dredge us out of the darkness. Sadly, we are often unable to find the spark we need despite the fact that we were born with it. It is within us.  Christ gave us light and it is up to us to shine it wisely, share His passion, share His care, and share His world.

   

  Kathy’s candle is bright. Kathy’s dreams are to help others, lift their spirits, and shine away their fears. Kathy’s always been there to comfort, care and capture. She never knew she was carrying a candle in her soul and it was never consciously lit yet it was the brightest candle around. It was lit with compassion, love, and pure hope in those who surrounded her. Kathy used her candle each hour of every day. It was the fullest, brightest and the warmest around… Kathy’s candle is eternal. What is yours?

   This song describes it all…
  CHRIS RICE: GO LIGHT YOUR WORLD
  

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