September 3, 2009

  • Wednesday, September 2, 2009 10:52 PM, CDT

    The words have been spinning in my head each day… my thoughts have been fragmented and I am unable to form an entry that could inspire even a fly… today I was reminded that my words mean nothing. It is God’s words that carry us through and I was looking in the wrong direction.

    God’s pen is the direction I need. It is in Him that I need to seek my comfort and strength. I needed to pour out and refill with the ink of Jesus.  

    I looked at Kathy suffering tonight and I could not imagine her pain. I know that when God sees his people suffer, he is suffering too for we are His. I cant begin to imagine the tremendous pain Larry and Grace feel as they face losing their child. My stomach twists in knots as I begin to even form the thought. I think of the sacrifice Christ made on the cross for us. How HIS mother watched Him suffer. I remember when my cat died and how painful that was for me. I felt silly and yet humbled by the amount of pain I felt in comparison to the pain God must have felt for His son. I am humbled today by the power around me and the passion of the people. I am humbled by the pure devotion of Larry and Grace. I am humbled by Ken’s strength and dedication. I am humbled by Bryan as he endures each day with unyielding energy and dedication to Kira, knowing he is facing an unknown future. I am humbled by Kira, a 7 year old girl who gently kisses and hugs mommy each and every time she sees her and although she may be scared to visit a face that is barely recognizable, she proudly approaches, watches lovingly and helps joyfully. These people are testaments of passionate love and powerful sacrifice.

    I am overwhelmed to think that God’s love is even greater! I realize that I will never be able love enough to even be a splinter in comparison to the love God has for us. He holds us ever so close to His heart that if we quiet our souls enough, we will hear his heart pumping inside us. It’s an amazing feeling if we allow it to happen.

    Kathy will not concede this fight with out using every power she
    has been given to make certain that everyone knows how much she loves them. She will, while under the utmost discomfort, make certain she has hugged and kissed each and every one of us daily while expressing her love in what I consider the most joyous whispering breath ever… ‘I love you’.   

    I love you too Kathy. I love you too.


    Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) Chris Rice



    UPDATE TO HEALTH: Kathy has likely had a stroke. She is paralyzed on her left side. She has been moved to a hospice center (she was receiving hospice at home before) to try to get her pain under better control.  Despite her discomfort and looking as if each breath is her last one… she STILL laughs!

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