August 4, 2009

• A rambling update:

  When I was a kid, I prayed to pass a test in Social Studies. I had difficulties with memorization and my test was on States and Capitols. I got a 27% and a lecture on studying with that test. A year or two later I needed to dissect a frog. I didn't want to do it so I tried to bargain my way out of it, I would give or do ANYTHING if God would keep me from having to do this. God didn't listen, or I had nothing God wanted because I had to dissect that frog anyhow. I was angry that God didn't listen to my wishes.... who is HE anyhow??? What happened to 'ask and ye shall receive' and 'knock and the door shall be opened unto you'? I felt I was gypped!

  Many years and great teachings later by the Master Himself I learned about will. There is my will, the thing where I leave things behind and assign them to those I love (I only have about 200 sets of salt and pepper shakers to give away so don't bother begging me for anything... it's just not worth it!). Then there is my will, or better said, what I wish for or want, the way I want it (something similar to that Burger King commercial... I want it MY way). I learned that in this circumstance, my will was just not worth the upset when I didn't get on my terms. Honestly, how often is it that we ask for what we want and don't get it? Or it isn't all it was 'cracked up to be'? We get that PERFECT shirt, only to stain it on the very first hour, or we get the job we just begged God for and it turns out to be hard-bum labor that was in no way evident in the job description... If we pay attention to what we don't get and what makes us unhappy- not getting our way, our wishes, our will- we can find the common denominator. It’s I, Me, We, Our. 

  God never once asked us to go it without Him. The very Our Father, said so often, sung at celebrations, read word for word and taught to the very young tells us that we should be seeking HIS WILL.

  Our Father, Who art in heaven,
  Hallowed be Thy Name.
  Thy Kingdom come.
  Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
  And forgive us our trespasses,
  as we forgive those who trespass against us.
  And lead us not into temptation,
  but deliver us from evil. Amen.

  It's plain as day... we should be asking for God's will to be done and not ours. Ok, *Laura sighs* so I gave up asking for what I want and I only asked for His will. In the end, God and I were still separated. Why? Because I did not make my will and His will the same. Now I know I am no bible expert and am no one to be preaching but do keep in mind that I have had my share of experiences and have made several feeble attempts to get through it my own way. I could never shake the end disappointment, always somehow dissatisfied. I needed to learn to make my will God's will. Unite my wishes. Learn that if it isn't the way God wants it, then I don't want it either. I needed to learn that God is the Master Planner so I have to leave the planning to Him.

  How does this apply to Kathy today? Well, I want to share how I pray...

  I pray that God's will be done in Kathy's life. I can only thank Him for so many wonderful years, blessed experiences, gazillions of laughs and the closeness that only He gave me. I ask God to use me as he desires in her life and in her death. I ask God that if it is His will, then cure her and if it is His will then take her in His loving arms and hold her close. I pray that if it is His will, relieve her pain, bring her ongoing peace and never ending serenity. I let Him know that I am trying my best to accept what has come about and that as long as He is my Master, I will follow His lead. I pray for God’s miracle and I know that if it is God's will, then it will be a miracle indeed.

   

   

   

  And now the update you were waiting for:

   

  Kathy is to have more fluid drained from her abdomen tomorrow *erm* today. The plan will be to then send her home either tomorrow evening or sometime Wednesday with nursing care, the morphine pump and lot’s of prayers. There will be lots of adjusting when she get’s home. One of her apprehensions is that she will be losing her security blanket of the hospital. Understandable given the time she has been dependent on them and knowing the next steps to come.  

   

  She continues to request visitors call before visiting even when she is home because though her spirit is ALL KATHY, her body is tired and in pain and requires rest.

   
  As always, THANK YOU for your prayers, support and well wishes!

  Laura, Kathy, Bryan, Kira et al...

  (oops! I highlited the wrong section! but i fixed it now!)
  

  • 12:37 am
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