December 30, 2008

  • Shades of Gray...

    what speaks more profoundly than the intensity of watching suffering? be it a dog, cat, family or friend... suffering seems to break the hearts of many a man and yet we have no external grasp to stop its longevity. somehow, it will find a way of stopping itself, well beyond our fathomable control.  i keep praying there will be another tomorrow and yet the vulgarity of pain and suffering seems to add to the knowledge that there may be a day when I have to let tomorrow go. some future dreams are taken for granted and are so presumed that we never even know we were dreaming until our futures are threatened. hours of laughter, shopping excursions, coffee talks and camp walks, eating artichokes, driving into the twilight... you always believe there will be a next time. more time to laugh. more time to walk. more time to share the faith that solidly glues you together. when a mind envisions future dreams, change is practically expected...i will marry, i will have a career, i will own a boat, i will improve something somehow somewhere... but the real dreams are accepting where we are and envisioning that the only change is our acceptance of life as it was intended for us to live, spiritually full.

    today i have learned that true friends never have to take a vow... 'in sickness and in health' is presumed. and an honest 'till death do us part' is an unfathomable lie. how can true friends part when an intermingling of hearts is so deeply indwelled?

    i have to find the power. i have to enter the dream. i have to make today today and expect nothing but the intensity of the moment. i have to make my heart pure... and hold it out despite the knowledge that sometimes it will tragically hurt.

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